Birth has been part of my life and continues to be so. I've attended so many births of people who I hardly knew. I was intimately involved in the beginning of so many families. Now it was my turn. My own children were eager for me to participate in the births of their children. I think this was and continues to be the payoff for so many sleepless nights. For so many women in Japan, in New York and Miami who I, in one way or another, helped with my presence or the right word at the right time. Now I was getting to see the children of my children come into the world. I went to the midwife with Tracy. I paced like an anxious father for the twins's birth and half slept with the phone in my hand in Miami when Ruby was being born, also at home.
Max's labor was long and I think my supportive role was for everyone involved. Helped the midwife convince Marisa that a walk around the block with lazy contractions would be beneficial. Poured a hundred cups of tea for the midwife and for myself. We chatted while Adam and Marisa were soaking in the birthing pool upstairs. Held a flashlight to assist the midwife given the place where Marisa chose to birth which required some illumination! Hopefully my presence was also beneficial for Adam who was also exhausted. It allowed him to be fully there for Marisa. Saw Maxi's face as he emerged. Saw Marisa and Adam's faces as they met their new son. Images in my mind that will be forever present.
Now Marisa was pregnant again, and once more the invitation came to be at the new baby's birth.
I arrived in Brooklyn after spending time in Indonesia with David and Alex and in Singapore and again in Indonesia with Steven, Tracy and the girls. One week at home and off to NYC on April 2nd still pretty jetlagged. The baby was due on the 7th. On the 3rd, Marisa and I cooked up a storm so that they would have meals prepared when the baby was born. On the 4th we went to Arthur Avenue in the Bronx where we met Frannie, Stephanie and Paul for lunch and to buy more goodies for the house. Armed with lots of prociutto, fresh made mozzarella and a big chunk of delicious Parmesan we returned to Brooklyn. That evening we made dinner, ate it and I left their house at around 10PM. Went to "my" (Natacha and Patrick's really) apartment and had barely fallen asleep when the call came. It was around 1.30PM when Adam informed me that contractions had started. He would keep me informed if they continued or whether they would just go away for the night! At 2.45 Marcie (Marisa's midwife) called to tell me that she would stop by and pick me up to go to Marisa's where things were heating up. We arrived at their house at 3.15am.
Sammy's labor was quick and his birth just beautiful. He emerged and was given to me by the midwife as she tended to Marisa. A nice oven warmed towel was waiting for this little hot body in my arms. I quickly handed him to his parents who were joyfully crying and kissing. It was sensational. He felt so warm and of course, slippery. His face reminded me of Goosie. All big open mouth announcing his arrival...as if we hadn't noticed! I was in awe of Marisa's strength, determination and courage. "I am woman hear me roar" doesn't even cut it. Adam's pride and emotion are hard to describe. Love was everywhere.
Sam was born at 3.59am (important for the astrologers in the family!) and the midwives were gone before the sun emerged. We were in the living room. Marisa, Adam and the baby dozing on the couch, me on the armchair where I too dozed off. Max who slept through the entire proceedings came to meet his new brother. I wish somebody had filmed both births because while Maxi's was long, it was a typical first birth and Sam's was birthed by a woman who knew what she was feeling and who had done this before! It would be very inspiring for a lot of couples who might reconsider their birthing options.
While home birth is not only not possible for all women it is also not something that one chooses lightly. Perhaps starting out with a birth center can help give women that confidence that might, just might inspire them to try a home birth for their second child... or not. They will surely have more confidence in their own ability to birth their babies with strength and determination away from the medical establishment's perceptions of what birth should be. A neat little package of interventions that are decided according to the practitioner's or hospital needs more than according to what the mother needs. Choosing the right birth attendant and place of birth is the one most important parenting decision that one can make.
Now these happy people are in their own little birth bubble home with their two boys learning how to incorporate this new delicious being into their lives.
My work here is done. Off to Miami tomorrow in my own birth capsule with beautiful images of love, strength and wiggly little babies.
