Saturday, August 10, 2013

Summer Fun

A little wiggle here and another there...some shading...more wiggles and then...this is what happens


Followed by more and more wiggles and giggles and cramped fingers and obsession



I couldn't stop and just went on to draw these two...



...and this one



I had a lot of fun as you can see. For me summer in Miami this year has meant some time in my studio, some at the beach and the best part of all, some time with my children and grandchildren.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

My Meditation

When I walk into my studio I have to control my self-diagnosed ADD. The stimulation is a little overwhelming and as I leave the calm of my house and walk into the studio, zen is replaced by wild colors in a couple of rooms of creative possibilities. My living space is more suitable for calm and peaceful meditation. For me, my working space is more conducive to meditation itself! I open the door and consider... should I paint today? Make mobiles? Finish up yesterday's project or start a new one? Oh my, so many choices. I could drop the whole painting thing for a day and dye some cloth...but then, I have this idea for a series of little paintings... In any event, whatever I decide to do, once I'm actually doing it, the calm returns and I'm immersed in my project as visions of Kahlo's workplace, which I visited while in Mexico pass through my mind. Then I hop over to Japan and my mind wanders over there for a while. In fact, my mind wanders to Japan a lot.

Los Angeles based psychologist Robert Maurer, who studies creativity, compares crafting to another practice with proven health benefits: meditation. "When the midbrain is engaged by the repetitive movement involved in many crafts, the temporal lobe is unable to focus on worry or stress," he says. "The cortex -which controls conscious thought - becomes quiet and peaceful" he adds. "Then concentrating on a pattern you're required to be so present in the moment that you can't worry about the future."

So I guess I'm on the right track and my choices are many - it just has to depend on my mood. Here are some meditations I've done lately.















Tuesday, October 2, 2012

On the Street Where I Lived

I was born in Buenos Aires on a hot February day on the bed where I was probably conceived. I walked by that house yesterday on the same sidewalk where I rode my tricycle…then my bike. Where I used to play with my friend Jose Manuel. I could almost see him at the door just like when he used to come over to invite me to join him on a new adventure.

I remember his mother just as well as I remember mine. I probably ate as many meals there. Mrs. Lemos was a strong influence on me in those days and I adored her. She was a wonderful cook and home keeper. She made a red beet salad that I can almost taste and I always wished it was part of lunch. Sometimes it was. The table was always perfectly set and lovely. Her house was peaceful and cool in the summer. She used to lower the shades and the whole house was dark and comforting. Like all houses, it had its own smell. And I loved it. I can see her making her delicious “Zapallos en almibar” which is a typical Argentine desert of candied squash and preserving them in large glass jars. My mouth watered and I couldn’t wait for her to offer me some which of course she always did.

Jose Manuel (aka Pepito) and I would take a break from our outdoor activities and just hang out in the living room of his house or mine (mostly his cause I preferred it that way) and plan the rest of the day in a few hours of shady, cool peace. Then we’d go out and run around hosing each other or playing in the sprinkler in the garden before we started our afternoon game of bike polo with the rest of the neighborhood kids. I spent a lot of time outdoors and was only instructed to be home when it got dark outside. We were in and out of each other’s houses all day long. Maria Isabel was a little older and only occasionally joined in our games and plans. I admired her greatly and thought she was wise and sophisticated.

We had a gang of sorts us kids. We lived and played on a couple of blocks of our road and “the mean kids” lived a couple of blocks away. We’d plan strategy of what we’d do and say when we saw them outside. We never became friends despite the fact that bike polo needed their participation, We thought we were definitely better and maybe we were cause we certainly played a lot. Pepito couldn’t have a pet because his sister was allergic to them so he loved coming over to play with my dogs.

Before Pepito I had a girlfriend for a while whose Dad was a construction worker in a house across the street. He’d bring his daughter to work and she and I became friends. The friendship probably lasted till he finished his work in the construction site. It was brief but intense. I think my parents were a little concerned about that friendship mostly because they knew it was going to be short-lived. Her home was far away and we were very young, probably around 4 or 5 years old. I don’t remember her name but I called her “la amiga de mi” which is incorrect Spanish literally translated to “the friend of me”…bad English too!

There were azaleas in the spring and amazing yellow flowers that we used to pick from some neighbor’s yard to give to our mothers. Sometimes we ventured around the block where we were not allowed to go and as we grew we even crossed Libertador (which is a big busy road) to see the widest river in the world the Rio de la Plata or River Plate also the name of my favorite football team. We had television at one point but never watched it. The grownups watched more than we did.

Yesterday I stopped in front of the house where I was born and looked at my parents’ bedroom window and those images of my early days passed right before my eyes. I imagined that the room at 2AM would have been softly lit. My sisters’ windows would have been lit as well as they knew a baby was being born in the house. My mother was 42 years old and had been quite shocked that she was pregnant again. My brother at 19 and my sisters at 10 and 11 years old were delighted to welcome a new little member of the family.

Standing infront of the house yesterday I felt enormous happiness as I saw the little girl I was and thankful for those first years of her life in that house, on that street, at that time. When I was 11 my family moved to New York only to return 5 years later to a new home in the city of Buenos Aires. I never saw Mrs Lemos, Pepito and Maria Isabel again. They live in my memories and yesterday they were very much alive.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Hunting in the Night



I was sitting up in bed watching a movie on TV when out of nowhere, something touched my cheek, sprung on the sheets and made a fast head dive under the bed. Never got a chance to see what it was but I didn't need to...I was out of there and scared to death! My two cats kept guard while I proceeded to move the bed left, then right, then out to the middle of the room as I rolled the area rug and moved out the dresser I turned my otherwise peaceful sleeping abode into a hot mess. Furniture, bottles of perfume, picture frames and whatever else was on any surface had now spilled to the floor while I tried to figure out what exactly it was that I was looking for.

It took a while and the cats managed to coax the creature out of his hiding spot. It was a little frog! I dropped the tupperware on the poor creature and grabbed a magazine to ensure he stayed in there. At this point, the cats were meowing, the dog was now interested and very excitedly barking and my calm and comforting room was in shambles. I turned off the alarm, opened the door and dropped the poor little frog out into the night. It would take him a while to recover from the trauma but at least he was alive. I had to go get a glass of water and calm myself as well. The cats didn't see my maneuver and were walking around trying to find the elusive frog. The dog grumbled and went back to sleep.

So I didn't kiss the frog but he certainly kissed me. It wasn't that unpleasant on my cheek. No slimy feeling, just the element of surprise. I didn't turn into a frog and he didn't turn into a prince. Pity.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Blonde Ambition

(This is an article I wrote about Eva Peron. Today, July 26th is the anniversary of her death so I thought I'd post it.)

Evita had passed into “immortality” and I hadn’t even found out. I boarded the school bus as I straightened my tie with one hand and held on to my book bag with the other. A wisp of a girl, trying to get myself together in time to avoid being scolded by the monitor who was adamant about proper attire. Heaven forbid that our socks drooped or our hair was untidy. Proper British girls behaved and dressed accordingly. Not a word of Spanish was spoken on that bus. Our bilingual education demanded only English in the morning and Spanish in the afternoon.

Like any other morning I sat next to my friend who was quietly finishing her homework. When we arrived at school that morning there were teachers on the street frantically waving their arms in the air and instructing the drivers to take the children back home. The traffic was chaotic as everyone turned right back to leave the school in a hurry. Evita had died at 8:25 the previous night and the news had not traveled fast enough to let parents know that schools would be closed the next day and for several days after that. School officials were afraid that her death would bring the political unrest that was brewing and was evident in the city. Children needed to be returned to their safe homes. The ride back was somber and we all felt in danger somehow although there was no visible sign of violence. But then, it was my first taste of how events unfold in my country. The most gruesome things can happen in a cloak of civility.

The exact time of her death was broadcast by radio for years after that and I believe that there is not one Argentine alive who does not know that seemingly trivial detail. Every television and radio station interrupted normal broadcasting at that hour with the somber announcement “at 8.25 Eva Duarte de Peron, spiritual leader of our nation has passed into immortality.” In the weeks and months that followed, Argentine schoolchildren in public schools wore black armbands on their white school uniforms and had to draw a black stripe on each one of the pages of their workbooks in her memory. At precisely 8.25 pm the country remembered, and it was paralyzed. Nobody could escape it.

Eva’s worst fear was to be forgotten but she should not have worried. Peron summoned Dr. Ara, a Spanish pathologist who was commissioned to preserve her lifeless body forever. After the funeral the good doctor was able to continue perfecting his still life creation and took two additional years to fine-tune his macabre work. She was his masterpiece and there were malicious rumors that he had fallen deeply in love with her. He demanded to be left alone with Evita - his duties were performed in splendid isolation surrounded by strict security.

She lay in state at the Ministry of Labor while four soldiers guarded her coffin. My brother-in-law was doing his military service at the time and was one of them. The young men kept fainting and being replaced because of the intensity of the atmosphere and the strong smell of the funeral flowers which covered every inch of the room. Throngs of Argentines passed by her coffin. The line that led to the viewing wound around thirty city blocks. Calla lilies are the funeral flowers of Argentina and thousands of flower shops and stands in all of the city of Buenos Aires were left bare. The delicate blossoms as well as mountains of gardenias had all been bought to place in homage of the woman who had so captivated their collective imagination.

People were devastated by her death. They did not want to let go of everything that she represented to them. There was the saintly Evita, sweet and pious who made their wishes come true piling money from her famous foundation into their meager lives and compromised living conditions. There was the glamorous Evita who blew into their lives like a cool breeze wearing strapless silk gowns, mink wraps and sparkling jewels and titillated Argentines in the same was as Jackie Kennedy’s style seduced the world many years later. Then there was Evita the earnest union leader who called herself a true “trabajadora,” worker for the people, and made heartfelt speeches wearing military tailored suits with broad shoulder pads counteracting her tiny waist and ethereal persona. As always, with her golden locks tamed tightly into her signature bun above her neck. And then there was Evita the faithful wife standing beside her man through thick and thin and the barren Evita, who was viewed as the mother of all Argentine children. In their eyes, she was a saint and many demanded that the Vatican acknowledge her and wanted above all else to have their own Santa Evita. The Vatican’s reply was negative. Her involvement with Peron who among other faults, had been married before and her own shady past, prevented her the honors that her people desperately wanted.

She was not considered a saint by everyone. My family like most Argentines was, and is divided into the Peron admirers and the Peron haters. Peron was criticized in whispers and murmurs. People were in fear of the consequences of speaking their minds and my family was no exception. I must confess that the woman captured my fantasies as well. I never tired of looking at the photographs on her book La Razon de Mi Vida, literally translated “My Mission in Life,” where she appears resplendent in sumptuous gowns and dazzling diamond jewelry. I was 8 at the time and would sneak into the library at home and sit occupying an eighth of my father’s Chesterfield chair with my spaghetti legs not yet long enough to reach the floor and furtively leafed through the book to find the photographs which showed her in her splendor. I knew that my parents hated the Perons and I rarely shared my incursions into her book with anyone, perhaps only with a friend who also found the pictures fascinating. Years later sitting in a Broadway theater I remember the murmur and my own goosebumps when Lloyd Webber’s Evita comes out to greet her people from the balcony in the same white strapless dress captured in that book from so long ago. For me it was a heart stopping moment. I remembered it so well.

Two years after her death and in what were times of unrest and unhappiness in my country, father decided to move our family to New York. It was walking to school in Forest Hills that I heard that there had been a coup d’etat in Argentina and Peron was on his way to his first stop of exile in Panama. He later traveled to Spain, a country which owed him much and whose own dictator granted him asylum. He lived in a sumptuous villa known as Puerta de Hierro, Iron Gate with his new wife Isabel, an Argentine chorus girl whom he met in Panama. They were visited daily by union leaders and politicians from Argentina eager to make nice with a man who could support their causes and help them to get elected back home with his endorsement. Every president since then, including the present one, has called himself a “Peronista” in the hope of furthering their political careers. His power had not gone into exile with him.

In 1974 Peron returned to Argentina and as luck would have it, bought the house next to my parents in law. The new Mrs. Peron had made a house hunting trip a few months prior and had visited the sumptuous white Mediterranean house with the lush and peaceful garden. The homeowner, Mrs. Bauer, was a family friend and showed her around her beautiful home, the garden of which met my in-law’s garden in the back. In fact, my husband and Mrs. Bauer’s son were close friends and would spend summers jumping the fence that separated them to swim at one pool or the other. She did not recognize Mrs. Peron. The real estate agent introduced her as Maria Estela Martinez which is her maiden name and she remembered her saying that she did not have children that the house would be only for her and her husband. Mrs. Bauer asked her if she didn’t feel that her home was far too big for only two people to which she replied “we like a lot of space,” and left it at that. The next morning Mrs. Bauer found out in the newspaper that she had agreed to sell her house to General Peron. There went the neighborhood.

His arrival at Ezeiza International Airport was tumultuous and the caravan which escorted him to his new home consisted of thousands of people with horns and bombos, a native drum that is played in folk music and used for big demonstrations because of its intense sound. The quiet neighborhood which was blocks away from where the sitting president of Argentina lives and had been where he lived before he was ousted was in total chaos. When Peron finally entered the house and one would have thought that the celebration was over as people started dispersing, many remained sleeping where they could, some on the streets and others in the neighbors’ front lawns. The quiet suburban neighborhood was converted into a gypsy camp where swarms of people needed to stay to be close to their idol. When things finally got back to relative order after a few days, my father in law got a handwritten letter from Peron inviting the family to an asado at his home to thank the neighbors for their benevolent patience and goodwill with all the supporters who had created such a ruckus. My father-in-law refused politely, something which I never forgave him for – I would have loved to meet Peron but by then I had left Argentina so his attendance at the barbecue would have only given me the chance to live a vicarious encounter with the general. He did not want to be part of the circus he explained. For me, Peron has remained one of those famous dead or alive people I would like to invite to an imaginary dinner party. A true missed opportunity to do it in life.

During her husband’s exile, Evita’s beautiful corpse had no place to rest in Argentina. She was still such a strong symbol to so many people that she had to be banished and was taken to an undisclosed location in Italy and was transferred to many other mystery sites. Her body had to be kept away from Argentina until she was returned to her homeland when her husband made a comeback and given her rightful place in history. The folklore that surrounds the years the coffin was missing has filled many pages and imaginations. Her husband was voted back into office with Isabel as his vice president in 1973 and she assumed his job as president when he died. The poor soul tried hard to emulate Evita, even in her appearance. Her mousy brown hair turned blonder and she would attempt a half hearted stab at stardom, but those of us who knew Evita, knew that she was no Evita. With her presidency a joke and the country in shambles, she followed her husband’s footsteps and returned to Madrid and has not been a significant part of Argentine politics since.

I recently visited Evita at Recoleta, the Arlington of Argentina’s aristrocracy. The cemetery is located in a very privileged neighborhood and houses a city of the dead within the bustling city of Buenos Aires where only the very rich and very powerful can bury their dead. There are no ground burials there. The mausoleums resemble a very quiet city of elegant if somewhat garish structures where coffins are placed in marble slabs covered with fine old Belgian lace and can be seen through the glass or iron doors. Outside its walls are trendy restaurants and charming cafes where one can sip an espresso or have afternoon tea and watch the fashionable world go by. Most of the tourists and even some of the locals cross over to find Evita’s resting place and while the place is full of fascinating memorials to fallen heroes and the bronzes read like a who’s who of Argentina’s most significant citizens. As soon as I entered the gates, the guard at the door pointed me and other visitors towards where he knew we wanted to go before we even asked. I crossed paths along the way with a multitude of alley cats which have made a home for themselves among the rich and famous. I reached her tomb which was overflowing with the fresh flowers that her visitors leave daily. Cameras clicked away as everyone posed next to her likeness in bronze to show the folks back home. The very elaborate resting places are tended to by families who visit their dead as if they were visiting them in their apartments while outside those structures and over the wall that separates them from the city of the living, people enjoy the outdoor markets, the fine shops and restaurants and just plain being alive.

I could not help feeling sorry for Evita as I made my way out of the cemetery. A woman who prided herself to come from the people and worked for the people now sleeps forever among the aristocracy who shunned her and she despised. I cannot imagine that she’s resting in peace, but she has definitely met her objective. She has not been forgotten. I never asked my parents how that book made its way into their library. Could it be perhaps that I was not the only one in the family who was more than a little seduced by Evita’s power and charm?

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Finding Balance



Most of the time I have an idea of what I'm going to be doing in my studio in the morning. I draw or paint, I write on one of my journals, I finish what I started. Today I had this sudden urge to make a mobile. The last one I made was probably 7 months ago. It was hard work and at times very frustrating. So frustrating that I would just walk away and come back to it to work on it after a few days had passed.
Found a couple of twigs that I had lying around and little by little I started constructing the main structure. I didn't plan it. I played it by ear. A bead here, a cloth bird (that I sewed for something else) there, some feathers and as I went along, I kept trying to make the whole look pleasing to my eyes. And it was looking better and better but just as I attached one more little element, the whole thing needed balancing again.

All of a sudden it hit me. To be able to accomplish what I had set out to do, I needed to have the balance. My mobile was showing me that I had to stop for a minute. Take a deep breath perhaps? Listen to music. Calm my energy and flow a little more and be less task oriented. Just enjoy the process and a little at a time, I would build that mobile with the right elements to make it dangle in my patio and give me pleasure every time I see it. And I did and it all came to pass. I left my studio in peace with myself and my surroundings.