Thursday, May 3, 2012

Notes (and a little advice) From a High Tech Abuelita

I seem to have become an “I” person…you know…IPhone, IPad, IPod, MacPro and all. I read on a Kindle and that’s because at my age, the non-glare aspect is crucial. It works well at the beach.

My son accuses “Mother, you have entirely too much technology!” I adapt every one of my gadgets to my life and give them the place they deserve. I walk my dog with my orange little IPod that matches my car and I listen to music and use the pedometer to make the daily obligation count for something other than exercising the pooch. Multi tasking is healthy sometimes.

I enjoy Facebook and finding out what my friends are up to. I adore my IPhone and have a million pictures on IPhoto. YouTube entertains me ad nauseum. Living Social offers me great deals. The Skimm amuses me, "the Huff" often annoys me. I travel with my IPad AND my computer which has become part of my daily life and quite frankly, I have trouble leaving either behind. I buy my theater and movie tickets and do my banking online. I have a GPS in my car and an Apple TV in my den. I hardly use my digital camera in favor of the IPhone camera, which is more convenient, and for my purposes, excellent. I Skype with my children and have managed to maintain a loving and close relationship with my children’s children (as far away as Singapore) with this mode of communication.

Before I became fond of I-products, I had a long history with computers, starting with my dear Commodore 64, which taught me everything I needed to know in preparation for the bigger and better things to come. I was involved in getting a computer lab into my children's school against opposition of some peers who did not think it was necessary, and insuring that every classroom had a computer and a trained teacher to use them and help the kids. I'm often amused when young computer whizzes on the radio or TV put down their parents or older folks as computer illiterates. How did they get so smart?

I couldn’t bring myself to dispose of my beloved Commodore 64 until I moved from New York to Miami a few years ago. Thought I might have to donate it to some computer museum. I remember the first time I used Windows! I also remember my daughter teaching me how to email her when she went to college and how to use the Internet.

Google helps my memory when it falters and I need to look up something that I know but can’t quite place. Smitten Kitchen, Food 52 and Epicurious offer me great new recipes to try. My computer keeps me company, especially on those nights when sleep eludes me. There she is, ready to serve, inspire and help the hours go by. “A Pinterest perhaps?” she suggests.

The most important thing that I have learned being part of this computer age is that all the technology in the world cannot and will not replace a phone call when I, or the person I’m calling needs it or is delighted by it. No apps for human contact. No apps can replace a wonderful movie in a theater or a play or a real delicious hug from a friend, a child, a grandchild. No app gives me a welcome like my two dogs and two cats. And lets not even go to the texting “thing!” I thought it was wonderful when we finally got rid of telegrams. To think that they have now been replaced by cold, short, unpleasant half-words that people use to excuse their lack of time, of care, of simple good manners and style of writing and speech.

We must espouse new technology readily. It keeps us current. It keeps us in the loop but in the process; let us not forget good manners and those come in the shape of eating in a restaurant and leaving our phones at home or in the car. Of not holding our phones in our hands as if we were all neurosurgeons waiting for an emergency call from the hospital when we’re in a social situation. Of being able to ignore that call or text until we are alone and not offending anyone and certainly not while driving.

No technology can replace that cafecito at our favorite Cuban coffee shop. A nice lunch with a friend. A call to remind someone you care. Nothing is as thrilling as a postcard from a friend in a faraway place who happened to think about you and put a stamp on it and mailed it to your real home address. A thank you or "am thinking about you" handwritten note. No email can replace that moment of hearing your dear friend’s voice on the phone when you’re feeling down. Apps don’t convey emotion. Texting cannot (unless you’re 13) let you encompass how you feel when you’re depressed. You need real-time-face-time with someone who can listen. Apps don’t hug.

So my advice to myself and to you is, be selective with your technology and use it to enhance your life. Use your voice, your handwriting and your dialing skills to do the real thing. You’re not the only busy person in the world. Make time for yourself and the people you care about and teach your children to do the same. Mindfulness counts.

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